The memory I am about to recall is kind of ironic, considering I have spent the past four years as a passionate elementary school teacher, but I assure you it is true. I can still remember being a school-aged, gap-toothed, pigtailed young girl, sticking to the vinyl seats of my mother’s brown 1987 Nissan Maxima on hot summer days. She had abandoned her job in advertising to raise her children, and devoted sunny July and August days to driving us to the local pool. On the way, we would sing along to the blaring radio songs of 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. I loved the Beach Boys’ “California Girls.” I had inherited an adoration of the Beatles’ “My Life.” I boogied in the back seat to Elvis and “I’m All Shook Up,” (even though I always thought he was singing about a “Moncha Cup” and wondered endlessly what one was!). Oh yes, I loved these songs, and even at a young age, I would think about the lyrics and form connections to the singers’ words. Apparently, young kids (particularly sensitive, precocious ones) are capable of experiencing feelings of nostalgia and sentimental ties. There was one song in particular though, that I did not like. In fact, I disliked it intensely. I am reluctant to use the word hate, because my mother always told me not to…”It’s a word too strong to use for Brussels Sprouts and visits to the doctor!” To be honest with you, though, I hated this song. In my young mind, I held the belief that somewhere out there existed bitter deejays who had once hated this song too, and as adults couldn’t resist the urge to play it in late August to torture the kids who were poolside while they were deskside. They felt the need to rub it in that come a month, the kids would be deskside too...(insert evil laugh!)

“Have a good time, but remember…”

“Mom, shut it off!” I would demand from the rear seat. I knew what was coming next. It was a line that filled my young mind with distress and panic and anxiety and stress…yes, 8-year-old stress. “See you in September.” I wanted to cover my ears, curl up in a ball, and make it go away. Even though I don’t think the intention of the song was to give kids visions of textbooks, assignments, rules, and beckoning teachers, that’s precisely what it evoked in me. I didn’t want September to ever come. Once school started, I was fine. I had always prided myself on being a good student. I got good grades. I played by the rules. Behaviorally, I was described on my report card year after year as, “a pleasure to have in class.” I blended into the background easily. I didn’t create a stir. I didn’t make waves. I wasn’t popular necessarily, but I wasn’t unpopular either. There was no reason for me not to like school. I did like it. It was simply a matter of the anxiety leading up to it.

I was not alone. School anxiety is an issue that many kids, young and old, (as well as their parents and teachers!) face. It is undeniable that there is something somewhat traumatic about the transition from bathing suits, barbeques, and long days of freedom to book bags, brown bags and structured days. Like anything else, once time passes and it becomes the daily grind, adjustment happens. It is the time before that that can be like beef jerky—tough and hard to chew (harder to digest!).

As an educator, I have worked with parents and children to make the transition more seamless. I am here to share my wisdom with you. My mother always told me that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. Maybe I suffered school-transition-anxiety so that I could help others better cope!

TIPS

Have open conversation. Allow your child to share his or her feelings openly without fear of being made to feel like his/her fears are silly. Let your child know that he or she is not alone in being fearful. Relate to him or her. Share similar experiences, times when adjustment was difficult for you, to let your child see that in life we must constantly confront and deal with change. Things don’t seem quite so bad when we know that others have dealt with them too and made it out okay!
Engage in shared reading of books that relate to going back to school. First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg, is an excellent picture book for students, young and old. (My 5th Graders enjoyed it immensely!) It tells the story of a teacher who is nervous about going back to the classroom—further proof that it is not childish to be anxious about a transition.
Focus on the good. Make a list of goals that your child has for the upcoming school year. Post these goals somewhere highly visible. At the end of each week, discuss progress that was made toward reaching the goal. Honor your child when the goal has been achieved. (Honoring doesn’t have to be anything more than words of praise. Let the goal itself be the prize!)
Host a “Back to School” party for your child’s circle of friends or the kids in the neighborhood. We are apt to celebrate school’s end with pool parties, water balloon tosses, and hints of summer. Why not celebrate the beginning of a fresh new year? It is a time to start over again and be the person, the student, your child aspires to be!
If at all possible, find out who will be in your child’s class and arrange for get-togethers prior to school’s start. Many times, anxiety stems out of the child’s worries that he or she won’t be liked or accepted by his/her classmates.
Plan a lunch menu together. Cafeteria-style, map out the lunch (main course, side, and drink) that your child wants to bring for the first month of school. Go shopping together to get the needed ingredients and supplies. You can make lunches together, while talking about the upcoming school day to get your child pumped up for what lies ahead. Having some help will make the task less arduous for you as well.

Once school has started:

Keep the conversation active and ongoing. Make sure your child knows that you care about the events of the day, good and bad. Instead of the typical, “What did you do in school today?” which elicits the ever-typical response, “Nothing!” (Which we all know is not true!), play a game of High-Low at the dinner table. Have each family member (adults included) go around the table sharing the day’s high point and low point. Listening members are allowed to ask the speaker one question about their high or low.
Create fun learning experiences at home. Reinforce what hopefully is going on in school—make learning engaging, meaningful, real, and appealing. Take your child to a museum exhibit, (I highly suggest the Please Touch Museum), or go on a nature scavenger hunt. If your child is studying bugs, make a list of the ones that he or she is studying, and go on a quest to the park to find them. Make history come alive by going to actual sites where events happened. In Old City this September and October, they are hosting a haunted walk (check out information at the Omni Independence Park Hotel), guided by the “ghosts” of the American Revolution-great for the older elementary bunch and their siblings too!